It's time to change the rhetoric
In the middle of May, we were vendors at the Women’s Lifestyle Expo. And by the end of the weekend I was heartbroken by hearing how we as women label our bodies as being either good or bad, too much of something or not enough of something else.
Conversations went like this “I can’t wear that. I’m too old. Oh, but she has a good body” Like our bodies are either heavenly sent or inherently evil.
Like it’s something that is either worthy of our love or not.
I feel so much frustration over the continued use of these labels. We do it unconsciously too. Put a group of women in a room trying on clothes and the body labels and reflection goes negative real quick. I know this because in our 9 years of Zeenya, we've seen it over and over again.
Somehow over time we’ve gotten into our heads that those bodies that are a certain age or look a certain way, let’s be honest here, bodies that are both young and/or slim, have become the only type of “good” body.
This doesn't give us a lot of freedom as women. It causes us to hyperfixate on parts of our phsyical beings we've deemed to be 'not good enough' as the reason we're unlovable, didn't get the job, or aren't able to wear the things we love. That's not freedom. That's oppression.
I recently heard a Lizzo speech where she was saying that there is so much criticism in the world about how we are not good enough, and that the last person you should hear that from, should be yourself. Truth.
Here’s something I want you to know. The size, age and shape of your body means nothing important about who you are as a person. It doesn’t tell me how deeply you love, who cares for you in return, what music you like or what makes you laugh. It doesn’t tell me the causes you fight for or the way you like to move. It doesn't tell me if we like the same toast spread or care for the environment when we move around this planet.
How we act determines if we're good or bad. Not our appearance. Our actions are everything, our thigh size means nothing of importance.
Strip us all back and we’re all going to find something about our bodies we dislike. That doesn’t mean our body is bad. It just means we’ve got to find new ways of defining ourselves and others.
Let’s be the women who end these self-loathing labels. Let’s stop saying them out loud for others to hear because you never know who is listening. If I could change anything for future generations it would be that we stop this obsession with having someone elses version of a perfect body.
So let me leave you with this question, when was the last time you said something kind about yourself?