What I learned from my breast implants
What I learned from my breast implants
A reflection on health, fitness and body love
In 2012, Janelle Brunton-Rennie had breast implants with the goal of progressing in the sport of bodybuilding.
Little did she know just how unwell these implants would make her. These are her words of courage and self acceptance. Please enjoy this encouraging read on trusting our bodies.
Janelle Brunton-Rennie (Author)
It began as a 'treat'
In December of 2012 I ‘treated’ myself to a set of breast implants for my 30th birthday. You see, at the time I had aspirations in the sport of body building, and it was deemed a necessary step if I wished to further those aspirations. I consulted two top plastic surgeons, both in Auckland and I explained I didn’t want anything over the top. Both recommended exactly the same implant type and size, and I underwent surgery and received 280cc textured, high profile silicone implants above the muscle as I had enough natural breast tissue to hide the implant underneath it.
I was absolutely thrilled with the results. I had the breasts I’d always wanted. But the rapture wasn’t to last long. Almost immediately I had an infection in my left hand side which resulted in a seroma and around 100ml of fluid accumulating in the pocket around the implant… it felt like shaking a snow globe each time I went for a run.
The was the first sign my body wasn’t happy with my decision to put those toxic bags in it, and there were many more to come. I managed to compete once as a bodybuilder with my new implants, before my health really started to deteriorate. I stepped on stage about 4 months after getting the implants and the prep for that show felt different. I had a much harder time getting lean enough, I was training up to three times a day (one weights session, one HIIT session and one steady state cardio session) in the last few weeks, trying to keep turning the screws tighter and tighter to continue to lean up, but my body was already struggling with the implants and the inflammation they were creating.
After that show I was absolutely exhausted. I was tired all the time, I had immense brain fog, the weight and body fat piled back on and then some, I didn’t feel like myself at all and very quickly I was so ashamed of how I looked that on the rare few days that I had the energy to even go to the gym, I couldn’t face looking at myself in the mirror. It didn’t seem to matter what I did, or how good my diet was, I was so exhausted within my very bones.
I sought help from both medical and holistic health specialists. Medically there was nothing wrong with me showing up on any tests, bloods were fine, it was likely all in my head I was told, or perhaps I’d done some hormonal and adrenal damage competing in the sport of bodybuilding. A holistic specialist pointed out that it sounded like I had an underactive thyroid and chronic and adrenal fatigue. Subsequent blood tests showed thyroid antibodies and I was diagnosed with the autoimmune condition Hashitmoto’s Thyroiditis.
"Medically there was nothing wrong with me showing up on any tests, bloods were fine, it was likely all in my head"
What I couldn’t understand was how this happened so all of a sudden. I’d been a marathon runner, a triathlete who had competed a half ironman, I’d been a fitness instructor for 15 years, and a very good bodybuilder, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t even muster the strength to walk from the car to the café and was completely overwhelmed by 100m.
Exercise had been a huge part of who I was, and my identity was also very much tied into the aesthetic I’d created as to how my body looked. And now, I didn’t look like me, or feel like me, and I couldn’t do any of the things I enjoyed in life. I felt trapped in a body that wasn’t my own. It was horrible, I felt so ashamed of how I looked and what I’d seemingly become.
But it’s not in my nature to just ‘accept’ that this is how things are now, and I embarked on a journey to find me again.
I buried my head in all thing’s holistic health and wellbeing. You name it, I did it. Vegetarianism, veganism, Buddhism, yoga, raw juicing, heavy metal detox, amalgam filling removal, completely natural personal care and beauty products. I overhauled my life.
I saw a life coach and I rewired my ‘inner chat’ so to speak. I ate clean, I lived clean, every single thing in my home and my life got the overhaul. Slowly my health started to improve, not at any kind of rate to write home about, but I was able to get out of bed more regularly which was a great start.
There were other wonderful things that happened too. I learned to love myself and love my body for what it did for me, rather than what it looked like. I learned to value myself for what I contributed to the lives of others, rather than how my body looked and the attention that I got from that.
"I learned to love myself and love my body for what it did for me, rather than what it looked like."
I learned to value myself for what I contributed to the lives of others, rather than how my body looked and the attention that I got from that. I learned to manage my stress via meditation, rather than exhausting myself in the gym. I learned so much about who I was at a much deeper level that I’d ever had to look. I also learned through the unconditional love and support of my husband that I was loveable at a size 8, and I was just as loveable as a 16.
I even changed my business based on what I learned, no longer able to use my skills to align with cosmetic brands filled with hormone disruptors and nasty chemicals, and instead focussed on sharing the messages of natural and organic brands, health and wellness brands, and companies that supported living a more mindful existence.
Then one day I read something that wasn’t just any kind of light bulb moment, it was like flicking the switch on the entire Auckland electric grid. Crystal Hefner, playboy bunny and wife of the late Hugh Hefner shared online that she had removed her breast implants as she revealed she had been suffering from Breast Implant Illness. I’d never heard of it, but when I read her checklist of symptoms, I burst into tears out of relief!
They read exactly as mine did – immense fatigue, dry hair, dry skin, brittle nails, lymphatic and water weight issues, body weight accumulation, thyroid issues, the list went on and each one was exactly the same as me, and in that moment, I knew that it was the implants that were poisoning my body! I sent the article to my husband, and he came back as astounded as I was and we resolved immediately that they must come out.
I found a Facebook group that had about 10,000 members of other women who were suffering from BII, it now has 167,000 members and grows each week. Many of these women have been part of class action lawsuits in the US, and in the US, health insurance now also recognises BII and covers the removal of implants in effected women.
My surgeon here in Auckland told me that he’s doing more explants than implants these days and apparently around 50% of women don’t tolerate breast implants very well. The type of implant that I received (textured) is no longer allowed to be used as they are deemed a higher risk to developing a type of lymphoma only associated with breast implants.
When I eventually had my implants removed, my health corrected rapidly. I had 8kgs of weight fall off me without making any other changes at all in the first month, my thyroid antibodies corrected to within the normal level all on their own, and my energy levels returned rapidly.
My implants were a very expensive lesson in terms of finances; however, they were an absolutely wonderful lesson in terms of self-love and acceptance. My journey with BII truly taught me to honour and love and appreciate my body for all of the wonderful things it does for me.
"My motivation to exercise is purely to feel good these days and it’s not for the approval or acceptance of anybody else, it’s special time just for me"
Exercising is a totally different experience for me now. Where once I motivated myself with a negative internal narrative, self-loathing and was trying to prove something to others. Now I train my body out of pure joy to be honest. Exercise is still a great way to alleviate stress, but my motivation to exercise is purely to feel good these days and it’s not for the approval or acceptance of anybody else, it’s special time just for me. I’d almost go as far as saying that it’s sacred time just for me.
The Daily Mail ended up approaching me and sharing my Breast Implant Illness Journey with the world, and I had received hundreds of messages from women thanking me for helping them to identify the source of their ailing health too and giving them the courage to get their implants removed, or to not get the implants they were thinking of getting. I feel very honoured to have been able to openly share my story and help other women, and maybe even be their lightbulb moment in their journey back to good health.
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You can read more about Janelle and her journey here
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